March / April 2002 - Working Women

Editor's Note

Career Girl : Stressed but free?

Growing up in the �80s, I felt we�d covered women and work ad nauseum. Of all feminist topics, I thought we had this one sorted out. Now, recently married, with an aging parent and a demanding career, I find myself doubting the models I�ve been taught � all of the standard answers I�ve been given. If feminism has made my relationship with work simpler, why am I so stressed � so sure that I won�t be able to meet any of these expectations? In Marriage Shock, Dalma Heyn traces the rise of the middle class and the resulting cultural shifts that enshrined women in the home, forbade them from the public sphere, and defined �women�s work.� She recounts how daily life became deeply divided into public and private, and a �good wife� knew better than to gamble everything on a dalliance in the public sphere. She quotes Ann Douglas in The Feminization of American Culture, �Stay within your proper confines and you will be worshiped, step outside and you will cease to exist.� This domestic fortress began to crumble at the turn of the last century. Abolitionists became Suffragettes and then Prohibitionists. Women demanded cultural change and access to the political process. They were adamant, though often limited to charitable work. Charities, while still �women�s work,� were at least public work.

Decades later, after The Feminine Mystique and the sexual revolution, the career woman of the �80s and �90s emerged. Women burst into public life, again demanding their share of the power and influence. They were sure they could succeed in the career world, while continuing to perform the undervalued roles of homemaker and mother. Women who chose to stay home became suspect, holding their sisters back. The Super Mom was born. Now, we stand at the turn of another century, believing that we can have full careers and full lives. But only if we can figure out how to climb the corporate ladder with our arms full of children and elders and our minds full of guilt and expectations.

In a culture where even single mothers on welfare are told to work outside the home in order to gain self-respect, shouldn�t we once again be re-evaluating women and work? Women�s work won�t ever go away �we should stop pretending it will. We need to be aware of the conflict between Western-feminist individualism and the larger social network in which we�re enmeshed. Someone has to do the caregiving. Should it always be women? No. Should we redefine women�s work as work for all people? Yes. All of us, men and women, need to value and share caregiving responsibilities. We have to find creative models that work. I, for one, am tired of the traditionalists� guilt trip for not caregiving well enough and the feminists� guilt trip for not living my self-actualizing dreams. Here�s hoping there�s a new way of looking at women and work� a model that doesn�t leave us quite so stressed or stranded; a model that allows the men in our lives to truly be partners; a model that shows us how to balance personal needs with those of the greater community.

Stay nervy,
Letha Tawney
Nervy Girl! Co-Publisher

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