Come Together, right now�
We live in a world that is governed by strict rules regarding coupling. Heterosexual monogamy is still considered the norm by many, and anything outside of that is open to ridicule. Bush�s newest welfare reform program is a case in point: By urging poor mothers to marry, the program sends the message that salvation is found only at the altar.
Often, it seems like we spend so much time deciding the legal and societal rules for coupling that we lose sight of the whole point of sharing our lives with someone else. We come together with other people for companionship, love, sex, joy, comfort and strength � to change the world and ourselves.
Coupling can mean more than two people uniting in a romantic or sexual way. Coupling means to �come together,� to connect. So whether it�s groups coming together to stop domestic violence (Coupling, p. 22) or a mother and daughter duo working to educate others (Follow the Food, p. 20), coupling up is about doing good and feeling good.
If sharing our lives, or even just our free time, with someone else can do all of those things and more, does it really matter with whom we choose to couple up, or how we choose to do it? Whether they�re the same sex or the same race, or whether we�re meeting with one partner or many? Because love, friendship and joy � even grief � don�t know the rules society has created. Emotions recognize no colors, no genders, and no age. The women we talked to for our article on unusual couplings (Defining Love Differently, p. 26) can vouch for that � they found happiness where they least expected it.
So rather than making rules and laws about who should come together, let�s spend that time and money teaching people HOW to come together. Let�s take Bush�s welfare money and spend it on classes that teach people from all walks of life how to have happier, healthier relationships. Let�s take some of the defense fund and create a World Peace Fund, so that nations may come together without war. And let�s teach by example � by nurturing positive, loving relationships with ourselves and those around us.
If we must create rules, either legal or societal, that govern coupling, then let�s create ones that will really make a difference. Let�s call for rules that end domestic violence and mental abuse, and laws that say it doesn�t matter who you couple up with as long as they bring joy to your life.
But most of all, let�s call for a celebration of the couplings that lift us up, that make us better, stronger and wiser people. For it is these couplings, these connections, that allow us to create change, first in ourselves and then in the world.
Shanna Germain
Nervy Girl! Managing Editor
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